Embarassment. It’s the future.Posted: February 13, 2012
My daughter is just 12 days from her first birthday. She spends her days standing up, falling down, crawling along, falling over, giggling, hitting the cat, saying baa baa baa. That’s pretty much it.
Today we went on a mother/daughter shopping trip. I wheeled her around in her buggy, tried clothes on, asked her opinion (one baa for yes, two baas for take it off, you look stupid). It was such fun! All the shop staff thought she was adorable, she dished out toothy smiles to a select few. We went home. Easy!
It was as we were trundling around the shops that I caught a glimpse of what life will be like when she can walk and talk.
In the M&S knicker department, I was shuffling around simply marvelling at the selection of non-maternity undies. A little girl aged around 4 walked up to a huge bra (and I mean HUGE, like a watermelon in each cup), placed it over her head and shouted at the very top of her voice “Mummy’s boobies!”.
Her mother flew towards her, grabbing the bra and trying not to draw further attention to the scene. She was half embarrassed and half laughing. I was sniggering behind the pyjamas.
Later on, while careering through Topshop another young child came out with this gem, also at the top of his voice. “Mummy. I need a poo NOW!”
Now, this was obviously very funny (to me at least) but clearly caused panic amongst the staff and customers close by. What if he really did need one NOW and was about to soil the super-skinny jeans. What if he plops amidst the petites? His mother flew towards him, grabbed him and ushered him through the doorway.
So there I was chuckling away to myself, gazing down at my gorgeous and practically mute nappy-clad offspring. And then it hit me. Karma is going to come back and get me for laughing. It’ll be me throwing myself across M&S to grab the bra (albeit a much smaller one) from my girl. It’ll be me fleeing for the nearest public loo with just seconds notice.
Thank goodness for online shopping. It’s the future.