This photo is of the front door to our house.
A subtle hint. Ssssssh baby sleeping. I’ve noticed over the last 13 months that the world is just a terribly noisy place. I’m sure that you all understand how difficult it can sometimes be to get a child to go to sleep. They don’t want to, they’d rather fight it and get themselves in a pickle. So, after what feels like hours of patting, rocking, ssssshhhhing, when the little angel finally nods off, the last thing you want is for them to wake up again.
It seems like it’s a conspiracy sometimes. Like you are all in cahoots, waiting for my baby to drop off so that you can all start making an almighty racket. I briefly mentioned fireworks in my previous post, they drive me potty. But, my goodness, what about all the other stuff? We have a dog in our neighbourhood whom we have named Mega Dog. It has the loudest bark I have ever heard. The dog is let out around 10pm every evening. I hate this dog. And then there’s the chickens behind the house. The cockerel is clearly a novice as he will crow at all times of the day. Cock-a-doodle-do, you say? Cock-a-doodle-DON’T. Surely the spookiest of animal noises though is the urban fox. Confident little buggers that they are, they’ll happily run up and down the street with that blood-curdling wail.
That brings me on to the man-made noises. The milkman and his electric milk float, 5am. Fog horns in the Thames Estuary through the night. Seagulls. Children in the local playground (how dare they enjoy themselves, my baby is asleep!), delivery vans, DIY, bin collection day. So noisy.
Every time I order something online, I put a comment on the order. Ssssshhhh baby sleeping. 99% of them ignore this completely and seemingly attempt to break the front door on arrival. Except my dear supermarket delivery man who phones me rather than knock (brownie points for him). The postman doesn’t even bother knocking now, he just shoves the “you’re not in” card through the door. He’s been the recipient of a death stare from me on more than one occasion.
Woe betide anyone who comes to the door uninvited. I’m talking to you, charity muggers, takeaway menu distributors, political parties, neighbours complaining about my parking.
Living very close to Southend Airport, we were delighted to hear that the expansion plans would mean jobs, development, new routes and so on. However, the landing path is over our house. Drat. So, now we have the delights of Easyjet to contend with too. Is there such a thing as a silent aircraft? Could Easyjet buy a fleet of stealth bombers and paint them orange, perhaps?
It’s spring now which means that soon it will be summer and we have light, warm evenings to look forward to. And parties and barbecues nearby until the early hours. (One last summer played Dire Straits at ear-popping volume late into the night. I wasn’t sure what alarmed me most, the noise or the dreadful music taste. Either way, it had to stop).
Police cars, though we don’t hear them often, whizz along, nee-naw-nee-naw-nee-NO!
The more that my husband tries to be quiet, the more noise he makes, bless him. And don’t even get me started on our cat, nuisance-on-legs that he is.
I know what you’re thinking. That I’m being over the top and hysterical about all of this. But, I’ve just spent an hour settling my little poppet so that she’ll have a restful night. So, can you all just do me a favour? When you see her light switched off in the evening, or at nap-time during the day, could you all just stop what you are doing please? Remember, SSSSSSHHHHHH BABY SLEEPING.