Well, I’ve never said those words in that order before.

My daughter is not yet old enough to need much discipline, simply a bit of guidance.  Now that she is able to run here, there and everywhere, plus reach things that she couldn’t before, I find that I am increasingly using all sorts of odd phrases during my day.  It struck me that it’s all quite negative, so I need to work on wording it all in a more positive way.  These are just some of the things that have recently come out of my mouth, that I have heard and though……WHAT?!
  • That’s not Daddy’s face, it’s Damon Albarn
  • Stop wiping cream cheese on your hair
  • Get that cable out of your mouth
  • Do not touch the poo
  • Why is that jigsaw down the toilet?
  • You can try eating yoghurt with a fork if you like
  • The cat does not want to be slapped
  • Remove your head from the dishwasher
  • That’s not gypsies ringing a bell, it’s Santa Claus.
  • Sweetheart, you only need one tambourine
  • Just because you are finished eating doesn’t mean you need to throw your cutlery
  • Stop licking the iPhone
  • Can you sit in the laundry basket while I mop the floor?
  • Don’t run with your flag or you’ll have your eye out.
  • Get your bum away from the window
  • Please take your finger out of Mummy’s nostril
  • Don’t cry, it’s only sellotape.

This is only the beginning, I know that as we cruise on through the next little while, I’ll be coming out with all sorts of nonsense.  Please share with me your own gems…..would love to hear them.  Or is it just me?  I do hope not.