This is getting right on my nerves.Posted: July 14, 2012
It’s been 8 days since my last post. Have I been on holiday? Had exciting people to stay? Nope. I’ve been feeling really sorry for myself. You may remember a while back I wrote about my back problem, sacroiliitis, as I was suffering a lot of pain and discomfort. Well, it’s all gone a bit mad now and I have also got sciatica. Or as my doctor put it, during my emergency home visit, I have severe symptoms of sciatica caused by sacroiliitis. Thank goodness I haven’t also got a lisp.
So, what is all this about then? Probably caused by weakening in childbirth, followed by constant carrying/lifting/wrestling with a toddler. Trapped nerves or bulging discs, all sorts of inner issues. Last weekend it got bad, really really bad. A tearful visit to the surgery later, I manage to weasel my way past the
police receptionists into an appointment. I sat there, sobbing, telling the doctor that I made it through childbirth without an ounce of pain relief, but that I can’t cope with this. I was white as a ghost (yes, I know, normal for me) and I was shaking. So, all I have to do is survive until 16th July when I am booked in to see an orthopaedic surgeon who’s going to inject steroids into my back. (I did ask if this would have any weird effects on me, to which he assured me no. To be honest, I’m so fed up that if healing the pain with steroids means that I also grow a snazzy moustache and have a voice like Brian Blessed, then so be it).
I got worse on Thursday and my beautiful baby girl had to be collected by her grandparents and taken away for 2 nights. I couldn’t even change her nappy. It was the point that the pain was making me feel faint that I realised I couldn’t possibly risk carrying her down the stairs. So, off she went. I’ve been so lucky to have my in-laws here. They spend a lot of time travelling and with our family in Australia, so thank goodness they are here for us now. My own parents, bless them, went straight out and filled their car up with fuel, ready to drive an 800 mile round trip to come and help me. I am saving that token for now though, in case the steroids don’t work. My wonderful husband is now on full baby and domestic duties, despite working hard all week and preparing for a business trip to Canada in two weeks time (hence possibly needing my parents then). I’ve been so lucky and feel very loved.
I’ve also been inundated with numbers and contact details for various osteopaths, chiropractors, physios, rhuema-wotsits, private surgeons, drugs that I should be on or shouldn’t be on. My head is spinning with the information and all of the well-meaning but overwhelming advice.
I’m on a bundle of drugs. They don’t really help the pain as it’s just so severe. But one of them makes me feel like I want to go raving, so at least I’m having a bit of fun. If only I could dance. I can’t really use my left leg, you see. Numb toes and shooting pains. I can’t sit or stand and lying down hurts. So that kind of leaves me nowhere, I’m wondering if levitation is a possibility? You know that song, Dem Bones, where it says “your hip bone’s connected to your back bone”.?…well I’ve been singing that a lot. Because every time I tilt my neck, the shock of pain shoots down my leg to my toes, if I move my hips it shoots up my back. It’s all connected up like some dodgy wiring.
Did I mention that I’m fed up? So, that explains the lack of blogging action. I’m not feeling terribly creative. All I can think about is working out ways to dress myself. And how to get shoes on. I’m not sleeping, so instead am whiling away the wee small hours by perusing the internet. I have perved at all of the most expensive local houses for sale, planned what I’ll do when I win the lottery (new pelvis would be awesome) and I’ve chosen all the places that I want to travel to with my lovely little family. I’ve tweeted, Facebook’d, Instagrammed, iTunes’d and sorted out my iCloud. I’ve window-shopped online, spending hours on my favourite websites. I’ve drooled over vintage dresses on etsy.com and looked at shoes. If only I was a reader, this would be the perfect time to launch into Fifty Shades of Grey. Can’t even face that.
I’m bored. At least I’m not really able to go out and therefore won’t get soaked, unlike the rest of the population who are clearly suffering with this beautiful July weather.
I know that there are many much worse things that I could have and that people are much worse pickles than me. I do know that. But it’s hard when you are so used to being a healthy and active person, one who barely sits down and enjoys the buzz of being a busy stay-at-home-Mum. And I’m so upset that after 8 months of running with my beloved Fitbugs, I am now reduced to zilch, fitness disappearing. And, let’s face it, I just miss my running buddies.
Anyway, there you have it, I’m in a bit of a state. So, if anyone has any great jokes to cheer me up or any juicy gossip, do share below. If you need me, I’ll be here, drinking tea, practising my Brian Blessed voice and shaving technique.